On Labels in Childhood – An Open Letter to my Son

To my beautiful son,

Please don’t ever listen to what people say about you, even what I say about you. You are a uniquely gorgeous human being. Even though I carried you in my belly for 9 months and breastfed you and carried you for years. Even though I slept with you and watched you grow and photographed you and kissed you so often. Even though you are my son, no, I don’t know a fraction about you. You are you. I have very little idea who you really are as a person. Yet, I feel I know you more that anyone else, more than you yourself. I’m so wrong.

Please don’t ever believe what anyone says about you, not even me. We all look at you with a filter and think that we know you. Yet, we are all projecting our personal baggage onto you. We have no idea who you are. Yet, we think we have the right to talk about you and label you.

Please don’t ever think you are any of the things our limited perception says about you. You are not a label, a category, a type. You are better that any of that. If the label is negative, who are we to understand anything you are going through. It can potentially be a great trait in your character. And even if the label is positive and it makes you feel great, you will have the eternal weight of having to live up to our expectations. Please don’t believe any of it. You are better than that.

Why do I talk about you? It all comes with good intentions. We do it because I love you and want to think that I know you. We do it because I want to ‘help’ you. We do it because I are so proud.

Anything that you hear from me, from us, will limit your perception of yourself and shape you into the person we think you are. You are not that. You are you. There is no one better than you. There is no one worse than you. We are all unique human beings. The more you listen to any of us, the longer it will take you to discover who you really are. The sooner you figure all this out and stop listening to us, the faster you’ll truly embrace the loving, capable and compassionate human being you were born to be – that you are.

Please listen to yourself. You are the wisest person among all of us. I’ll always stand here next to you. With my limited understanding of you but with all my love. I’ll be so so proud of you, my son. Always. I’ll always be here for you. I’ll always cheer for you. Always ready for a hug… whenever you are.

With all my love,

Mum

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9 thoughts on “On Labels in Childhood – An Open Letter to my Son

  1. No etiquetas, No medicalización. Infancias libres, aventurados futuros…
    ..”always ready for a hug…”
    Felicitaciones Jen .. es hermosa tu carta.

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  2. Hi! i really appreciate your mum job. I have never thought of something similar. It is true that nowadays children are very influenced by labels. Maybe in a good way, but sometimes in a bad way. As a mum it is fundamental to conserve sons confidence and mentality. I will once share it with my sons Tomi and Gregorito

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  3. HI! I REALLY APPRECIATE YOUR MUM JOB. I HAD NEVER THOUGHT OF SOMETHING SIMILAR. IT IS TRUE THAT NOWADAYS CHILDREN ARE VERY INFLUENCED BY LABELS.
    MAYBE IN A GOOD WAY, BUT SOMETIMES IN A BAD WAYS. AS A MUM ITS FUNDAMENTAL TO CONSERVE SONS CONFIDENCE AND MENTALITY. I WILL ONCE SHARE IT WITH MY SONS TOMY AND GREGORITO. FROM PHILADELPHIA

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    • Hi Ines, sorry I took so long to reply. I only saw your message today. Thanks for your comment. Yes, it’s a difficult job being a parent but so rewarding at the same time, isn’t it? Thanks for reading. Love from Dublin, Jen

      Like

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