Today I failed…

Today I failed. I failed at everything. It was only last week that I wrote a post about all the things I have been working on in my life and I felt proud because I have been making a lot of progress. Yet, today, I failed and I was so conscious at every moment that I wasn’t following my own advice. It was so disappointing:

  • I failed at patient with my kids (I fail at this quite regularly though)
  • I failed at controlling my emotions. I felt angry at a loved one and I knew the emotion was being produced by myself, not the external situation. I still couldn’t overcome the anger.
  • I failed at recognising that only I can make myself happy and I felt needy for approval and comfort.
  • I failed at being present as I couldn’t let go of the situation that happened earlier.
  • I failed at being compassionate and at recognising that the others are also doing their best.
  • I failed and judged myself and others.
  • I failed at a never ending string of ‘I should’ve…

At the end of the day, I felt sad, exhausted and disappointed with myself.

So I had 2 options: I could either beat myself up for all of that OR I could just let it go. Even though my tendency is mostly the former; I decided to experiment with the latter this time:

  • I tried being kind with myself.
  • I tried connecting with the present moment and letting go of whatever happened before now.
  • I tried connecting with my true self one more time.
  • When I felt better, I looked back with more perspective and renewed my commitment to try again tomorrow.

I know I’ll have many more days like this in which I will feel like a failure but beating myself up for it only makes things worse. After all, I need to love and take care of myself first before I am able to love and take care of everyone else around me.

Failing is part of the journey and learning to embrace failure is a way to succeed.

Life is not supposed to be easy. Life is supposed to be challenging and I need to be able to be at peace and flow with the challenges. Tomorrow will bring more opportunities to try again. I’m ready!

Thanks for reading.

Jen

 

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